為淚水已乾,但此時寫信竟又淚水長流。如果再無眼淚,我的心都將破碎。
我經常午後到戶外散步,不時聽到畫眉迎春的啼聲從山谷深處飛出,但我已不再為它的啁啾之鳴心醉,因為我的心已經冰冷枯萎,就像你所說的那樣,總有一天它會徹底冰涼。上帝原諒我如上所言,這確實情非得已。但你曾經是我擁有的一切,一想到要永遠失去你,我就難以忍受,這也許是由於我的過錯吧。有人去拜訪你嗎?任何你收到的信件都不要轉給我。我希望你和你母親(如果她樂意)去看看《奧賽羅》中的基恩先生和《村中戀情》中的斯蒂芬斯小姐。如果你們能去看,我就寫信給T先生,請他給你們寄票。P先生見過你嗎? 我想我也得寄票給他,感謝他把你的畫像寄給了我,可以讓我對著它親吻和傾訴衷腸。吻我,我最心愛的人兒。啊! 即使我永遠不能擁有你,也讓我成為你驕傲和幸福的奴隸吧。
威廉·赫茲裡特
1830年3月21日
William Hazlitt
To
Mar。 21st; 1803
Dear Sarah;
You will scold me for this; and ask me if this is keeping my promise to mind my work。 One half of it was to think of Sarah; and besides I do not neglect my work either; I assure you。 I regularly do ten pages a day; which mounts up to thirty guineas' worth a week; so that you see that I should grow rich at this rate; if I could keep on so; and I could keep on so; if I had you with me to encourage me with your sweet smiles; and share my lot。 The Berwick smack sails twice a week; and the wind sets fair。 When I think of the thousand endearing caresses that have passed between us; I do not wonder at the strong attachment that draws me to you; but I am very sorry for my own want of power to please。 I hear the wind sigh through the lattice and keep repeating over and over to myself two lines of Lord Byron's tragedy—
“So shalt thou find me ever at thy side;
威廉·赫茲裡特致薩拉·沃克(2)
Here and hereafter; if the last may be。”
Applying them to thee; my love; and thinking whether I shall ever see thee again。 Perhaps not—for some years at least—till both thou and I are old —and then when all else has forsaken thee; I will creep to thee; and die in thine arms。
You once made me believe that I was not hated by her I loved; and for that sensation—so delicious was it; though but mockery and a drea