But I heard my voice escaping in a whisper。
〃I'm sorry that I couldn't before I wish I could change how I feel about
you； Jacob。〃 I was
desperate； reaching； stretching the truth so far that it curved nearly into
the shape of a lie。 〃Maybe
maybe I would change；〃 I whispered。 〃Maybe； if you gave me some time just
don't quit on me now；
Jake。 I can't take it。〃
His face went from anger to agony in a second。 One shaking hand reached out
toward me。
〃No。 Don't think like that； Bella； please。 Don't blame yourself； don't think
this is your fault。 This one is all
me。 I swear； it's not about you。〃
〃It's not you； it's me；〃 I whispered。 〃There's a new one。〃
〃I mean it； Bella。 I'm not〃 he struggled； his voice going even huskier as he
fought to control his emotion。
His eyes were tortured。 〃I'm not good enough to be your friend anymore； or
anything else。 I'm not what I
was before。 I'm not good。〃
〃What？〃 I stared at him； confused and appalled。 〃What are you saying？ You're
much better than I am；
Jake。 You are good！ Who told you that you aren't？ Sam？ It's a vicious lie；
Jacob！ Don't let him tell you
that！〃 I was suddenly yelling again。
Jacob's face went hard and flat。 〃No one had to tell me anything。 I know what
I am。〃
〃You're my friend； that's what you are！ Jake—don't！〃
He was backing away from me。
〃I'm sorry； Bella；〃 he said again； this time it was a broken mumble。 He turned
and almost ran into the
house。
I was unable to move from where I stood。 I stared at the little house； it
looked too small to hold four
large boys and two larger men。 There was no reacti