as nothing to do with the matter； enough that he likes my society well enough to make a special journey down into Devon。 I represent to him； of course； the days gone by； and for their sake he will always feel an interest in me。 Being ten years my junior； he must naturally regard me as an old buffer； I notice； indeed； that he is just a little too deferential at moments。 He feels a certain respect for some of my work； but thinks； I am sure； that I ceased writing none too soon……which is very true。 If I had not been such a lucky fellow……if at this moment I were still toiling for bread……it is probable that he and I would see each other very seldom； for N… has delicacy； and would shrink from bringing his high…spirited affluence face to face ； whilst I； on the other hand； should hate to think that he kept up my acquaintance from a sense of decency。 As it is we are very good friends； quite unembarrassed； and……for a couple of days…… really enjoy the sight and hearing of each other。 That I am able to give him a fortable bedroom； and set before him an eatable dinner； flatters my pride。 If I chose at any time to accept his hearty invitation； I can do so without moral twinges。
Two thousand pounds！ If； at N…'s age； I had achieved that ine； what would have been the result upon me？ Nothing but good； I know； but what form would the good have taken？ Should I have bee a social man； a giver of dinners； a member of clubs？ Or should I merely have begun； ten years sooner； the life I am living now？ That is more likely。
In my twenties I used to say to myself： what a splendid thing it will be WHEN I am the possessor of a thousand pounds！ Well； I have never possessed that sum……never anything like it……and now never shall。 Yet it was not an extravagant ambition； methinks； however prim