dread； that I stopped my ears。 I said I could not bear such words now。 “That I am not Edward Rochester’s bride is the least part of my woe；” I alleged： “that I have wakened out of most glorious dreams； and found them all void and vain； is a horror I could bear and master； but that I must leave him decidedly； instantly； entirely； is intolerable。 I cannot do it。”
But； then； a voice within me averred that I could do it and foretold that I should do it。 I wrestled with my own resolution： I wanted to be weak that I might avoid the awful passage of further suffering I saw laid out for me； and Conscience； turned tyrant； held Passion by the throat； told her tauntingly； she had yet but dipped her dainty foot in the slough； and swore that with that arm of iron he would thrust her down to unsounded depths of agony。
“Let me be torn away；” then I cried。 “Let another help me！”
“No； you shall tear yourself away； none shall help you： you shall yourself pluck out your right eye； yourself cut off your right hand： your heart shall be the victim； and you the priest to transfix it。”
I rose up suddenly； terror…struck at the solitude which so ruthless a judge haunted；—at the silence which so awful a voice filled。 My head swam as I stood erect。 I perceived that I was sickening from excitement and inanition； neither meat nor drink had passed my lips that day； for I had taken no breakfast。 And； with a strange pang； I now reflected that； long as I had been shut up here； no message had been sent to ask how I was； or to invite me to e down： not even little Adèle had tapped at the door； not even Mrs。 Fairfax had sought me。 “Friends always forget those whom fortune forsakes；” I murmured； as I undrew the bolt and passed out。 I stumbled over an obstacle： my head was still d