us off the stairwell outside the kitchen。
34
“Drrsss；” she said into the stable。
She turned around and guided us into Hayriye’s greasy…smelling and mice…
ridden kitchen。 She forced us to sit down。 “Don’t even consider standing until
our guest leaves。 And don’t fight with each other or else people will think
you’re spoiled。”
“Mother；” I said to her before she closed the kitchen door。 “I want to say
something； Mother： They’ve done our grandfather’s gilder in。”
35
I AM CALLED BLACK
When I first laid eyes on her child； I knew at once what I’d long and
mistakenly recalled about Shekure’s face。 Like Orhan’s face； hers was thin；
though her chin was longer than what I remembered。 So； then the mouth of
my beloved was surely smaller and narrower than I imagined it to be。 For a
dozen years； as I ventured from city to city； I’d widened Shekure’s mouth out
of desire and had imagined her lips to be more pert； fleshy and irresistible； like
a large； shiny cherry。
Had I taken Shekure’s portrait with me； rendered in the style of the
Veian masters； I wouldn’t have felt such loss during my long travels when I
could scarcely remember my beloved； whose face I’d left somewhere behind
me。 For if a lover’s face survives emblazoned on your heart； the world is still
your home。
Meeting Shekure’s youngest son and speaking with him； seeing his face up
close and kissing him； aroused in me a restlessness peculiar to the luckless； to
murderers and to sinners。 An inner voice urged me on； “Be quick now； go and
see her。”
For a while； I con