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light?” the Hoja Effendi said; coyly trying to start an argument; but as you can

see from this picture; the Veian was a genuine artist; and he’d focused

upon the work before him and the money it’d bring rather than heeding the

Hoja’s empty prattle。

He did indeed paint us; and then slid us into the leather portfolio on the

back of his horse’s saddle; and returned to his infidel city。 Soon afterward; the

victorious armies of the Ottomans conquered and plundered that city on the

banks of the Danube; and the two of us ended up ing back this way to

Istanbul and the Royal Treasury。 From there; copied over and over; we moved

from one secret book to another; and finally arrived at this joyous coffeehouse

where coffee is drunk like a rejuvenating; invigorating elixir。 Now then:

334

A Brief Treatise on Painting; Death and Our Place in the World

The Hoja Effendi from Konya; whom we’ve just mentioned; has made the

following claim somewhere in one of his sermons; which are written out and

collected in a thick tome: Kalenderi dervishes are the unnecessary dross of the

world because they don’t belong to any of the four categories into which men

are divided: 1。 notables; 2。 merchants; 3。 farmers and 4。 artists; thus; they are

superfluous。

Additionally; he said the following: “These two always tramp about as a pair

and always argue about which of them will be the first to eat with their only

spoon; and those who don’t know that this is a sly allusion to their true

concern—who’ll be the first to bugger the other—find it amusing and laugh。

His Excellency Please…Don’t…Take…It…Wrong Ho

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